Bye Bye Maternity Leave!

I can’t believe that the time for my maternity leave to finish is rapidly approaching. I've got about 4 and a half weeks left. I shouldn't complain I've been off work now for almost a year but in no way shape or form does it feel like it’s been that long! It’s true when people say “make the most of the time off, it goes so quickly!”. It’s been the most challenging year of my life learning all about this little person and becoming a mummy but it’s also be the best most rewarding year of my life - I feel like nothing will be able to ever top it.

I wanted to write about me going back to work more so for myself, to clear my head and for something for me to look back on. My anxiety is sky high at the moment about going back to work and leaving Albie but at the same time I’m excited for this new chapter for us both to begin. Albie will also have his new start and be going to nursery two days a week. Albie is already such a social little boy at 10 and a half months and absolutely loves being around people so I think he will fit right in at nursery. It will be such a good thing for his development and social skills aswell. When I walked into the nursery he is going to I instantly felt at ease, seeing first hand how good the staff are with the children there and even welcoming albie like they had known him for so long. I walked out knowing thats where i wanted him to be. I’m so excited for him to start his new little journey. Plus hes only 10 minutes away from work so hes not far atall!

I was always adamant I would go back to work not necessarily full time but I would go back. I’m so glad that when it was decided I would be going back full time that I decided to take a full year off with him. Deep down I think I’m anxious because I feel guilty. I feel guilty about being there for a year and then all of a sudden he’s in all these different places and I’m only going to be there half the time. I’ve had all the thoughts “should I go back?” “Shall I just see if I can get a night job in a supermarket” and so on! But deep down I know I shouldn’t feel guilty. I’m doing this to give my baby the best chance at life just like my mum did for me. My mum is one of my biggest inspirations, she brought both me and my sister up single handedly, working full time. She gave us everything we needed and wanted and I want to be able to do that for Albie. I look at working mums and think "SUPERHEROS" especially the ones doing it alone, I've got a lot of time for that.

Albie's so lucky he has both me and ash that want to give him the best life and make lots more memories as a family! Our time will be so much more precious and I know will be just as special. I’ll be thinking of all the amazing things we will be able to do and plan like holidays throughout the year - we already have one to look forward to in may! - And who knows maybe one day he’ll have another brother or sister!

The one thing I keep saying is that albie has 4 weeks to learn to walk before I go back to work otherwise he has to wait until the weekends - I’m sure he understands haha. I'll be making a pact with the family and nursery that if he walks when hes with them they can't tell me so when I do see it I think that that was the first time haha!

I’ve spoken to a few of my friends about returning to work.. and some that didn’t! I'd be interested in some more opinions.. How did you feel about working full time and being a mum? How do you cope with working mum guilt?

Danni xxx